If we’re really serious about eliminating gay marriage, I think we need to take it a step further. We need to make sure that no other groups try the same thing in their stead. We need to eliminate interracial marriage. We all know that marriage is between a man and woman of the same color. God didn’t intend it any other way. We’re all God’s children, but he wants to make sure he can tell us apart.
We should also make it clear that the children God wants to marry in general are the ones he wants to breed. Eliminating the breeding of the other races allows for a pure gene pool.
Additionally, as we all know, God prefers men, otherwise they wouldn’t be in power. Eliminating women from being married prevents lesbians from marrying should they decide they aren’t “gay” per se, but, rather "lesbians." This leaves those purest white of men to marry at their hearts content.
Problem solved. Mr. Nobel, ball is in your court.
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