One of Washington's most powerful lobbies is already gearing up to stop skin cell harvesting in its tracks. As news broke today that embryos may no longer be essential to creating stem cells, the Epidermis lobby bristled at the notion that "ordinary skin cells" might take their place.
"As a representative of the Epidermis lobby," a representative said today "I am appalled at this attempt to subvert the American way of life. I speak for all of the Epidermis. We are not just a cluster of people - we are a lobby all our own, covering much more surface area than any of the other lobbies. And we demand to be heard."
Though members of the Epidermis are usually short-lived, with a turnaround time on average of only thirty-five days, new members seem to spring up almost immediately in their place, leaving the Epidermis a vital body in Washington.
"We cannot stand by while the skin cells of good American citizens are harvested willy-nilly," said Craig Harriman, Vice Chair of Epidermis. "On that note, I must resign and cede the seat of Vice Chair to Leslie Oates." "Thank you," said Vice Chair Oates.
The controversy around the use of skin cells as potential stem cells is many-fold. Says an official Epidermis pamphlet "These are the building blocks of life. What does it say when we scrape off a sample and try and bastardize nature's will by creating new building blocks? Are we not happy in our own skin?"
Says Colin Friels, research scientist "Skin cells aren't life. They are merely a part of life." Epidermis' official response: "Where does life truly begin? Whether it's one cell or a million, it's all life." Friels' response: "No."
No comments:
Post a Comment