Minding Mencia

I cringe every time I see a promo for "Mind of Mencia," Carlos Mencia's sketch show on Comedy Central. I can never tell exactly why. Maybe it's because I'm sick of the phrase "Equal Opportunity Offender." It was funny the first time. Find something new, lame comedians, please. But I think it goes deeper. Maybe it's something about the way he plays on camera. Then today I realized what it was:

Carlos Mencia thinks acting is being sarcastic.

No matter what wig they put on him, no matter who he's playing, he bugs out his eyes and seems to be gritting his teeth as though he's frustrated with the character he's playing. He doesn't know that to act comedy you have to play it as straight as possible. Long explanation short, he's not a comedian.

Now he's plenty good at being sarcastic and he can throw out a good anti-racism joke here and there. But if I hear him say "beaner" one more time I swear to God, I will slap him. He has a series of gags and beats he always plays, what they call a "bag of tricks." But unlike comedians of old, he was tired from the second he started. Maybe to some people the things he says are refreshing. But like Dave Chapelle before him (I think it's okay to compare the only two minority sketch comedy stars of the last five years seeing as that's why Mencia was hired - to replace a popular, offensive minority comedian) he doesn't know where to draw the line.

Not that he's crossing it, mind you, that's acceptable if you have a point to make. He just has no idea where the line is, and his offensiveness switch is always in the "on" position. And it rarely makes a point, and never a new one. I get that some people find catharsis in mock-racism, but half the time I'm just not certain he's mocking. I don't think he's a racist, mind you, I just plain don't think he knows how to be funny.

An example: At the county fair in Upstate New York about 10 years ago, I was waiting in line for the swing ride - you know the one, the lame bunch of spinning swings - and I heard a comment come from a grandmother to a companion "Oh, a colored man is running the ride." Normally, I'd laugh her silly, old-fashioned ignorance off as outmoded. Unfortunately, her young grandson was in earshot. Not one to be outdone in offending sensibilities, I decided to blurt out "Yeah, be careful, you might catch black." One of my proudest moments ever. And I knew what I was doing, spelled the joke out for her. Didn't get a response. My job was done. I was sixteen. Carlos Mencia is not. And even if he could muster the ability to write that joke he'd probably bug his eyes out and put up his hands as if to indicate "I don't know!"

As an end note, who the fuck considers "de de dee" a catchphrase? It's not even a phrase! When I sell my sketch show, can I talk to the audience and throw out some onomotopoeia and pretend it's funny? "Crackle, crackle, crackle!" Oh, me, I certainly do tell it like it is.