Paris Finds Her Place in the World

To quote AOL "News," Paris Hilton, who broke probation recently, "will spend about 23 days in a "special needs housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood." I don't know if I can explain how happy that makes me. No, no, not that justice was served. But that the State of California officially recognizes Paris Hilton as having "special needs."

Despite the fact that in this case it likely means needing tiny soaps and visits from her pet rats, it makes me smile inside and out, which is a wonderful thing indeed. Though normally I wouldn't give her credence enough to dedicate words to her, as she doesn't deserve fame, I like the idea that she's getting jail time. However, I hate the idea that her jail term, which was just cut in half from 45 days, had already been cut in half from 90. Yes, California's jails are overcrowded, but... Why can't we get what we really want- a real-life celebrity hanging?

Mel Gibson got chastised, Michael Richards apologized to the "Afro-Americans," and celebrities regularly get away with being special needs, but they never really get punished. Okay, maybe Michael Richards got all that could be expected, considering speech is free but nightclub admission isn't, but Paris, despite "only" having broken probation, needs to swing, even if she is just setting an example.

It'd certainly be better to see that happen to someone who supposedly deserves to be famous, like Tom Cruise (when do you think they're going to sell Suri to Angeline Jolie?). He's a douche, beyond being a B-list talent on the A-list. He's the Jerry Falwell of Scientology but we can't seem to catch him in the act of something illegal. Maybe he doesn't do anything illegal, just stuff we find so incredibly creepy that even if Scientology WAS legit and even offered us money and chocolates most of us wouldn't come near it. Just saying, if he broke probation, I'd be happier to see him cry than poor, helmet-wearing Paris. That deserves another giggle. Tee-hee.

Well, I just lost a few minutes of my life to writing about celebrities. When I become famous, maybe I won't care so much. I'll just care about the world, and try to make it a better place by adopting non-American children and donating my money to non-American, non-essential charities while simultaneously breaking American laws and spouting off about the American non-celebrities I hate. Fame is sweet.